Intrusive Contact

How I spent my morning

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:00:39 -0500

Editing and then uploading a video of my co-worker chugging whipped cream, because I am a serious journalist doing serious things.

I’m far too excited about finally having a decent quality...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:02:04 -0500

I’m far too excited about finally having a decent quality copy of Frightened Rabbit’s new EP. eMusic has it up early for some reason, go get it.

The Way We Were: Music Blogs And Sites In The '00s

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:47:00 -0500

The Way We Were: Music Blogs And Sites In The '00s:

NPR has really be bringing some wonderful nostalgia for this past decade, but really nothing more so than this collection of what music blogs looked like before they were all a mess of bland SEO, and [buzz band] played [television show].

How many of these do you think they’ve received? One more...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:47:10 -0500

How many of these do you think they’ve received?

One more couldn’t hurt.

Unless this whole list is, “Anywhere you can find/keep...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:54:05 -0500

Unless this whole list is, “Anywhere you can find/keep your job,” Washingtonian is an even worse magazine than I ever imagined.

While I was at work today my roommates decided to make Pacman...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:54:36 -0400

While I was at work today my roommates decided to make Pacman Jack-o-Lanters. I’m impressed.

Finally, a 'news tip' worth reading

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:53:22 -0400

On Friday afternoon, I received this “news tip” at work.

“D.C. Police are “cracking” down on speeders. For the first offense, they give you two Redskins tickets. (If you get stopped a second time, they give you two Nationals tickets.)
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins.

Q. What do the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ”.

Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?
A. To FedEx Field — they never have a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Senior Citizen

Q. What’s the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. We may never find out in the 21st century.

Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

So much better than the letter from god, the father we get everyday.

I'm starting to feel bad for Metro

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:14:12 -0400

Since June’s deadly Metro crash on the red line Metro has been getting hammered by local media, and deservedly so.

In the moths following the crash service across all lines was visibly worse, and service on the Red Line just recently returned to normal, which is to say, still not great.

Even occasional Metro riders have some horror story about some incident that happened to them, and since riders have come forward with pictures of Metro drivers using cell phones, falling asleep, watching tv, peeing in Doritos bags, and a lot more.

What a terrible agency, right? Then, today the Awl posted its latest Friendly Chat with Logan Sachon, with a member of the Foreign Service currently serving in Libya:

Actually at the same time that I was applying to the Foreign Service, I was also going through the application process to be a bus driver for DC Metro. Applying to the Foreign Service is a long, drawn out process; but they got back to me before Metro, which says something about DC.

An agency that actually hires slower than an agency that has to have people clear multiple security clearances, and these drivers still piss in Doritos bags in view of passengers?!

Then I felt bad for poor Metro, but just a second. I mean, drivers peeing in Doritos bags, unless Metro drivers are pulling from the same hiring pool as Street Sense, then there are some serious problems.

For $100,000 you can own the signed original painting done for...

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:48:00 -0400

For $100,000 you can own the signed original painting done for the Cuthroat Island poster. Totally worth it.

The AP caption for this photo is really disturbingly detailed:...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:56:00 -0400

The AP caption for this photo is really disturbingly detailed:

This photo released by Chasing Fireflies shows an Ice Princess costume. The regal blue velour bodice cascades into a lovely overlay trimmed with marabou. Look for a dramatic collar, silver “icicles” on the sleeves, and organza overlay frosted with snowflakes. Crystalized garland accessories with marabou add sparkle. Shown with petticoat. (Accessories sold separately.) (AP Photo/Chasing Fireflies)

It’s even more disturbing when you see how sparse the rest of the captions are.

The Mickey Mouse costume photo will also give me nightmares for days.

Thinking about not leaving my desk at work today

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:41:31 -0400

I slept for three hours last night, have been to the bathroom at least 5 times in the last 3 hours, am suffering from a moderate hangover, and my co-workers have not stopped shouting since I got in the door.

This is, more or less, no different than any other Saturday morning for me. The big difference between this morning and every other Saturday morning at work for me is that I discovered a large-enough-to-cause-concern hole in the crotch of my pants.

CAPS LOCK MANDATORY

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:34:00 -0400

E: OMG ARE YOU COVERING THE GREAT BALLOON CHASE??????
ME: THE GREAT BALLOON HOAX YOU MEAN?? YES!!!!!
E: It's a viral marketing ploy for Where the Wild Things Are!
ME: THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT!!!

Ben Ali, Co-Founder of Ben's Chili Bowl, Dies at 82

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:12:38 -0400

Ben Ali, Co-Founder of Ben's Chili Bowl, Dies at 82

Team Blackout and the case of the mysterious card

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:27:33 -0400

JB: I found this business card in my wallet from a [redacted]. Did I say anything about this to you guys at the bar? Was this one of the people we met outside the bar on Saturday? Any help figuring out [redacted] would be helpful.
Me: Yes, I believe that was the libertarian chick with the glasses.
JH: Sounds plausible. I honestly have no idea.
JB: Was that the pink necklace girl?
Me: I think so.
JB: What was the conversation pertaining to with this lady? She was a libertarian?
Me: I don't remember at all. I just refer to them as the libertarians because I remembered that they worked at the Cato Institute, and I have no idea why that sticks out. I just remember talking about glasses with them.

Since I didn’t see this disaster in the Sept. 20...

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:19:00 -0400

Since I didn’t see this disaster in the Sept. 20 Washington Examiner until yesterday, I’m guessing lots of other people missed it as well, because who honestly reads that paper, especially on Sundays.

In a world of bad headlines, this one reigns supreme. Even over...

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:14:00 -0400

In a world of bad headlines, this one reigns supreme. Even over previous horrible choices.

I miss everything cool that happens at work

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:33:56 -0400

Me: So, I missed the Rockettes this morning.
Boss: Yeah, they were quite a sight. Very leggy.
Me: As one would suspect.
Boss: Very cute too.
Boss: They caused quite a stir wherever they went.
Me: I think that's the point.
Me: I did see Santa when I got in.
Boss: He didn't get the same reaction at Starbucks.

Above, a reasonable response to the farmers’ market...

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 05:48:12 -0400

Above, a reasonable response to the farmers’ market opening today near the White House, with a completely and unbelievably racist comment below it. That comment has now been deleted, thank god.

Still, obviously racism is not an issue when it comes to views of the president.

Judge rules Orly Taitz is crazy

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:07:00 -0400

I don’t know why my friends in (and recently graduated from) law school never told me that court documents could be fun like this decision for a soldier litigated by birther nutjob Orly Taitz.

Thus, Plaintiff’s counsel, who champions herself as a defender of liberty and freedom, seeks to use the power of the judiciary to compel a citizen, albeit the President of the United States, to “prove his innocence” to “charges” that are based upon conjecture and speculation. Any middle school civics student would readily recognize the irony of abandoning fundamental principles upon which our Country was founded in order to purportedly “protect and preserve” those very principles.

Every court document I’ve ever had to read has been a droll, laborious task. I’d recommend reading the whole thing (pdf). It’ll make your afternoon and put some faith back into our legal system.

Is anybody else struggling to not make a "Ghost" pun?

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 06:21:25 -0400

Is anybody else struggling to not make a "Ghost" pun?