This is what reading the RCFP does your mind.

A 1.8 earthquake struck Northern Virginia Tuesday afternoon. Most residents didn’t feel the quake, but instead heard a loud boom, which apparently is not out of the norm, that is if you believe everything the government tells you..

“I heard a large boom,” said Lilienne Conklin. “I went outside to see if my gas tank had exploded.” And Conklin noticed her dog, Tug, “was acting funny. Dogs know.”

Yeah, what the dog knows is that aliens have landed. They too are sick to death of all of this election coverage, and they’re months behind. This is what happens to your brain, when you discover that the Rock Creek Free Press has a tumblr.