Unified Theory of Cute Girls on Buses
The thing about taking a bus anywhere is that it is as best an acceptable experience, and at worst a miserable experience.
I’ve taken several of the cheap bus lines between D.C. and New York over the past few years, and I’ve learned a few things in that time. And the most important thing is to focus on something that will break you allow you to forget that you are on a bus that has probably not been looked by a mechanic for quite some time, and is not the other miserable people on the bus. Usually, that means picking a cute girl that is somewhat visible and focusing in on that, because you don’t want to look out the window (I mean god help you if you are in New Jersey).
The problem is that the second you step off that bus, the cuteness of that girl drops dramatically. It’s like you’re in some weird twilight zone episode, where a mystical bus increases the cuteness of the girls on the bus. It’s probably more like “Shallow Hall,” where Tony Robbins takes the form of a bus driver which allows you to see the inner beauty of somebody on the bus.
Really, it’s probably just the boredom of the bus, and the contrast between the horrible sight of the other passengers, the road and the awful upholstery on the seats that seems to be mandatory with any form of public transportation, but especially for discount bus lines (and cheap airlines).
But we all need something to get us through the experience, and a cute girls always lifts my spirits. I’ve started to wonder if I look more attractive on the bus… I guess I’ll try a few lines on my trip home, but then again who wants to actually talk to anybody on a discount bus line going ot D.C.?
